the right side is an ode to my mom and my American upbringing and inspired by my lunchbox. as a child, I was proud to be taiwanese american, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t insecure about my classmates teasing me about the food I would bring to school. I asked my mom for a “pb&j sandwich” to fit in with my peers, and in her manner, it was never exactly how I requested. lightly toasted shokupan with peanut butter, she made a sandwich, but with an added ingredient inside—pork floss. I decided to recreate the sandwich that my mom would pack for me. a deep-fried peanut butter mousse & concord grape jelly “uncrustables” topped with homemade pork floss, perfectly crispy and warm when you take a bite.

although I lived in japan during two separate points as an adult, it holds significant meaning as I grew up with many Japanese influences as a child.  this is partly due to my mom, who lived and studied in Japan prior to marrying my dad and immigrating to New York City.

for me, chawanmushi holds several memories. and those who have eaten at Japanese restaurant are probably familiar with the silky egg dish, steamed with several toppings, served in a delicate tea cup.  many countries have their own version, but the steamed egg I grew up eating was the Taiwanese version. same silky texture, without the toppings.  I loved this dish as a child, and in the true nature of my mom, when she hears that her daughter loves something, she will make it every single day to show her love.

for the next decade, I couldn't eat steamed egg until a few years ago. I wanted to pay homage to my love/hate relationship with 茶碗蒸し, but also to the little pudding cup that I ate at those little japanese bakeries growing up (simliar to flan). this dish was a hybrid of the two.

traditionally, 茶碗蒸し is made with dashi. instead of milk, I made my own soymilk.  lightly sweetened and emulsified with egg, I steamed it until barely set to give that silky texture. the muscavado opaline tuile is the “caramel” component that’s in a pudding cup.

regardless of the fact that I was self taught for over a decade by 2015, or staged at a multitude of establishments, france was the place where I consider is the start of my culinary journey.  it was the country I chose over my students, family, and my old life. where I lost the use of my hands, questioned if I could survive this profession, found who I truly was, and learned to advocate for myself.  as I was learning to assimilate into this new country, I saw how the French cook/eat with the season. coupled with my jobs in france after receiving my diploma, I really began to understand this concept.

that is why I chose beetroot and blueberries for this particular dish. I made a point to use only local ingredients and what’s in season. organic beetroot from Sound Sustainable Farms, yogurt from Tunawerth Creamery, pink and regular blueberries from Alice and Peter, honey from Sidhu farms.  every ingredient is within 65 miles from Seattle. I wanted the shape of the sugar bulb to be the shape of an upside down beetroot and the dish to look like a beetroot salad on a plate. 

the bacon and egg component is in the form of guanciale ice cream/custard, and the cheese comes in the form of the powder on the side.  I made the cheddar cheese & herb powder from scratch so has a more natural hue..  the mixed berry ketchup cuts through the richness of the rich ice cream.

finally, in the truest form of nyc, the melting pot of cultures, I decided to combine these two stories—the iconic everything bagel with the first “snack” my coworker made me. because at that point, I realized that my life has been a beautiful chaos, a blend of everything. everything that is nyc.

I wanted to think outside the box for this course. hédonisme is all about approaching things in a different matter. I wanted to highlight the cacao fruit. all parts of cacao including the byproduct. (cacao nibs, cacao pulp, etc.)

the tanzanian cacao nibs were used to make the hot cacao milk (pour & hot beverage) on the side.  after infusion, I strained, and dehydrated the nibs, and repurposed into a crumble. nothing was wasted. the cacao pulp was made into a sorbet. the “cacao” bean is made with Valrhona single origin Kidavoa 50%, double fermented with banana. when you crack open the cocoa pod, inside you will see little chocolate pop rock “nibs.” finally, I top the dish with a gavotte leaf tuile, to make it look like a cacao fruit that’s peeking out through the leaves on the tree.

in this seventh and final course, I’m taking you back to where it all started—21 years ago. I’ve known since I was 12 years old that I wanted to pursue culinary, but I didn’t know my focus would be pastry until two years later. it’s a running joke that I dislike sweets, but actually, there is only one dessert that I will always love, and that is—the japanese strawberry shortcake. I remember visiting my relatives in Tokyo and by their home, was a コージーコーナー (shop). the moment I took a bite of the cake, I instantly knew I needed to recreate this recipe.

unfortunately in '04, there wasn’t social media, maybe a few blogs, and I certainly could not afford have a cookbook. I recreated this spongecake completely without any guidelines or recipes and saved up to buy eggs, sugar, and flour weekly. truthfully, the first 100 test batches were completely inedible. two years later and over 200 tries later, I finally succeeded. the moment I got it right, it was an indescribable feeling. I only knew in my gut that the success wasn’t a fluke. nothing else made more sense in my life than that very moment. I knew if I didn't pursue pastry, I'd regret it for the rest of my life. needless to say, I finally got the courage to pursue this childhood dream nine years later and the rest is history.

although it’s a tiny component, this spongecake was the spark that started it all. paired with strawberry rhubarb compote, salted whipped cream, cookie tuile, “strawberry” mousse on top—elevating the original cake that I still deeply love. I’ve only ever made this spongecake for myself and my loved ones. I've never put this recipe any menu during my career, never imagined I would. to share this with everyone at these pop-ups was truly a full circle moment for 16 years old “jessica” and truly wouldn’t have it any other way.